Puerto Rico

To be honest, I was not very enthusiastic about this trip as I wanted to go to India and the idea of staying in 3 places over a period of 9 days sounded like all we will be doing is unpack and pack.

We beat the NY snow storm and flew into Aguadilla airport. We drove through Mayaguez and picked groceries on our way to Guanica- our first destination. Nothing impressive. Copamarina beach resort was located at km 6 on route 333 - the GPS took us to km 0. Drive to km 6, which never seemed to end was uphill on a small winding road with branches hitting the windshield and it was pitch dark. The walk to our room was gruelingly long. We ordered grilled veggie for dinner and they gave us 3 pieces of zucchini, one slice of bell pepper and 2 slices of tomatoes and charged us $ 22! I was at a melt- down point and went to bed without eating dinner. Kal resolved to check us out the next morning and drive to San Juan and find us a hotel there.

The next morning the view from our room was breathtaking- palm trees and the blue ocean beyond the blue swimming pool. During the next 3 days at Guanica- we visited the beautiful Gilligan Island with clear blue water and mangrove trees. We tried snorkeling there; there were fishes all around us in the shallow water too; hiked in the Guanica dry forest reserve this was lined with cactus mixed with tropical trees; spend time lazing on the beach and in the calm waters of the bay, the swimming pool overlooking the ocean and the Jacuzzi; drove out to Ponce and took a tour of the city.

We drove through ‘Ruta Panoromica’ to our next destination: Cieba. Our hotel was a cozy place hidden by tropical trees in the middle of the mountains. The hotel offered us freshly picked fruits and coconuts, a hammock to laze on, the coci frogs crying out “Coci coci” all night long and we made friends with afamily from Wisconsin. Here we drove out to the El Younku forest and hiked to the El Mina falls. Arushi walked through half of the 2 km long hike while singing” Old Mac Donald.. eeeya eeya oo” all the time and hollering hi to everyone we passed. The densely vegetated rain forest reminded me of the Jurassic park movie and I was expecting a dinosaur to walk- out of the thicket anytime. Our brief stop at the popular Luquillo beach was a little disappointing as it was dirty and nothing spectacular like the guide books suggested.

We visited Old San Juan on our drive to Isabella- our final destination. We liked the Cristobal fort more than the El Morra fort. The Indian food at Tantra was worth the long walk through the town. The ocean view from the Cristobal fort had us mesmerized. The drive to Isabella was packed with un-wanted adventure- we got lost and had a flat tire at a road lined with rowdy looking drunk people at the street restaurant on one-side and the roaring ocean waves at the other. A good- hearted security guy (who spoke English!) working at one of the sea facing apartments helped us park in the apartment and change the tire for us.

Our room at Isabella opened right onto the Playa Montana beach; which is the Northwest corner of the island. This shoreline has the Caribbean sea and the Atlantic ocean. It was like 2 different beaches meeting at a point. One side had grainy sand and the other had soft fine sand. There was a huge rock at the corner and huge waves from the ocean crashed from the two sides and merged into each other in front of the rock. The effect was like a natural shallow Jacuzzi in front of the stone. We pretty much gawked at the waves for the better part of the 2 days. The water was so clear- I went into it till I was immersed waist-deep and I could still see the bottom, then a HUGE wave would come and I was in water till my neck for a few moments till the water rescinded.

Over the days I have fallen in love with this small island called Puerto Rico. The place has its downside- with the vegetarian- food, language, bugs and the sun burn issues. If they all spoke English; had more vegetarian food and gave one of us a decent job; I would move there. Sunny skies; clear blue ocean - calm in the bays and wild waves on some shorelines; mountains and valleys- dense with varied vegetation: deserts, mangroves and tropical rain forest; cozy bright colored homes lined with palm trees; Small winding roads with no lanes marked and stray chicken, cattle and dogs roaming around; people on horses on the streets; Coconuts, pineapples, star-fruit, papaya, banana and passion fruit fresh from the trees. What else do you need to make a home other than your family! I still wish I would have gone to India instead; but I am immensely glad Kal took me to experience this new place his way and refused to just book a pre-planned travel package for convenience and cost. Lucky me! But, there was still so much more to do there- I wonder if we ever extract all that a place has to offer when we ‘Vacation’ there. Maybe not, but it is ok- as far as you had a good time and experienced something new.

Good Bye NY

Moving out of NY was not supposed to be such a big deal for me. I remember, there was a knot in my stomach at the prospect of leaving Bombay to move to NY. I thought I would never feel that way again. I had always disliked the Indian custom of the daughters leaving the house and the guys staying with their parents. I always argued they should both leave the house and start a life together. So moving to NY was in a way getting my way. I had still cried myself to sleep for quiet many nights before the wedding. Though it was a mixed feeling of excitement and sadness.

I have pretty much stopped crying over anything small since a while now. But, I found myself wiping my eyes on my drive to work for the last few days. The first day it was the sight of the snow covered trees and the next days were because I was leaving my friends behind and moving. The place, I started my married ife, the place I had my child. The friend- I had without hesitation called at 3 am one night to tell her I was coming over to sleep at her place because my apartment was flooded. The friend who offered that I could live with her for the next 3 weeks till I fly out and I would not hesitate to take her offer if circumstances demand. The friends I have raised funds for Asha and trained to run with. Friends I have taken memorable trips to Maine, Lake George, Pennsylvania, Boston, Washington and made innumerable happy memories with. The friends who have helped me call NY - my home. The friends some of whom I do not talk to for months and yet I know they are there.

I got lucky with friends in NY. Will I have the same luck in California? As a grown-up It should be no big deal- we will make new friends. But it takes time and effort to go from knowing a person and being polite to becoming friends. I dread that just like my friends in Bombay; I will fade out of my NY friend's lives. I also feel blessed that it is turning out to be difficult for me ; that means I had made connections for life.

My Childhood Sweetheart

We were and are till date as different as you can imagine... both in our thinking and physical attributes; with one being the rebel, impulsive and the shortest person in our classroom and the other one being level-headed, conservative and the tallest. We should have repelled, instead we were inseparable. People predicted we would not last together another school year. We were scared of one going to the next grade and the other one staying behind. We made it together through Pre- K to the 10th grade. I thought we had both moved on, settled in our own lives and was content with not being so much in touch. It was better that way as mostly we criticized and corrected each other. I was wrong. We also supported and listened. I was the outgoing personality - yet after 6 years of being in touch superficially she called me to say she missed me.

I am talking about my best friend. We did take the pinky swear to be BFF forever and ever. I have been thinking about her lately; since the day she called me out of the blue to say hi; to tell that she missed me. She asked me if I still looked the same, have I put on weight, if my hair is still short, am I still boyish? What she was asking me was I still her BFF. Most people will be surprised that she asked me about my appearance- hasn't she seen your picture online. No- she is still an internet virgin and when I mentioned about e-mailing - she replied "who has the time". I stopped myself from chiding her about keeping up with the world. We were both all positive talks. Treading carefully.

My childhood best friend - now a mother of 2, an ardent devoted homemaker has accomplished her dream. "My life is accomplished", she say, "Now my only goal is to take care of the kids and make sure they go to good colleges and get married". I bit my tongue when she said that. She is still shy of 30. I remember she talked about becoming an air hostess. She imagined flying all around the world with layovers between flights during which she would visit new places. We had concluded with her height it should be easy as all air hostesses need to be tall, pretty and well- mannered. She only doubted on the pretty part. I was confident about that too.

She is also one of the best artist I know. In college she use to take art tuition (on my insistence). She enjoyed it and dreamed of running her own art academy one day.I envied her and still do- she has a passion and a talent and I still have not discovered what my true calling is. I was always the rebel factor in her life- pushing her to seek what she liked and be independent. She gets the credit for infusing practicality in me. I was an impulsive brat. I am a better person because of her.

She has not sacrificed her possible career, she just adapted to reality, she says. She chose to derive joy in taking care of her family and sticking to the traditional norms. I respect and admire her choices. I am very happy for her. I only hope that if she called me wishing I would rekindle the rebel in her and push her to do more for herself; I could be the support she is looking for. I am sure, we will start the arguments and questioning after a few more 'just calling to say hi' calls. I look forward to her prying questions and useless gossips.

Unconditional love needs nurturing too

The only kind of true love possible is 'unconditional'. Yet, it needs to be nurtured like an infant all the time. Over time we start demanding and taking things for granted; thinking that our love has grown and matured over the years and might not need as much attention.

After Arushi was born, a friend of mine had caught me referring to my romantic life as a matter of the past. I was lucky to have taken her cue and have worked to bring back the silly spark in my relationship with my husband. I call it silly as I do things like send him a ‘miss you’ sms; add a line on his to- do list ‘Call Jaina’ (he does call me when he reads it and we just exchange a giggling hi); go for drives after Arushi sleeps etc. Its all pretty teeny; but it works for me ( I say me and not us as according to Kal (my husband) the spark had never dimmed)

Recently, a close friend of mine confided to me that she was seeing a marriage counselor. I am a little shaken-up. This is a person whom I have seen to be head-over-heals in love with her husband. I think that the fact that they recognized (and acted on it) that their love needs extra nurturing- itself was proof of their love. I am sure they will come out of this situation with a stronger bond and understanding.

I am sure we will all have our share of troubles and tests ( some will have a tougher ride then others); but the key is preserve and nurture. Lets not forget that!

Journey to motherhood

Before I was pregnant I had not realized how much my life was going to change. Having a baby was something all the women in the world did. It will not be such a big deal. Its natural. A women's body would have optimized the process with so many decades of evolution. I would know what to do. Also, I will know how to take care of the baby. I trust my 'Natural instincts'. 

Pregnancy was a roller coaster rider. With the pre-term labor and the 'tributaline' and tri-weekly (yup, not weekly or bi-weekly) visits to the ob-gy. That was just a prelude to my transformation. This was followed by sleepless night and back-breaking feeding sessions. My husband has already forgotten it all. I still wake up in the middle of the night to feel my belly. I am suppose to forget it all post- pregnancy ( its been 18 months since I had Arushi). But I have not, I have a clear and vivid memory of the contractions which would not stop; the kicks and tickles that made me giggle all the time; the new-born cry that makes you feel so helpless.

It still feels 'magical'. How could I produced a whole new human being? I did and I am proud of it. Will I go through it again? friends ask me and I must think about it again urges the family. I do not know that yet. Maybe or maybe not. But, this journey to becoming a mother had transformed me and humbled me. It has taught me 'patience' and 'giving' like I never knew I was capable of and the gratitude I feel towards my mother is beyond expression ( she says she is tired of hearing about it now but I am still overwhelmed by the thought of all she has done for me).

This is a tribute to all the mothers in the world. Like 'they' say, with every baby a mother is born.