My Childhood Sweetheart

We were and are till date as different as you can imagine... both in our thinking and physical attributes; with one being the rebel, impulsive and the shortest person in our classroom and the other one being level-headed, conservative and the tallest. We should have repelled, instead we were inseparable. People predicted we would not last together another school year. We were scared of one going to the next grade and the other one staying behind. We made it together through Pre- K to the 10th grade. I thought we had both moved on, settled in our own lives and was content with not being so much in touch. It was better that way as mostly we criticized and corrected each other. I was wrong. We also supported and listened. I was the outgoing personality - yet after 6 years of being in touch superficially she called me to say she missed me.

I am talking about my best friend. We did take the pinky swear to be BFF forever and ever. I have been thinking about her lately; since the day she called me out of the blue to say hi; to tell that she missed me. She asked me if I still looked the same, have I put on weight, if my hair is still short, am I still boyish? What she was asking me was I still her BFF. Most people will be surprised that she asked me about my appearance- hasn't she seen your picture online. No- she is still an internet virgin and when I mentioned about e-mailing - she replied "who has the time". I stopped myself from chiding her about keeping up with the world. We were both all positive talks. Treading carefully.

My childhood best friend - now a mother of 2, an ardent devoted homemaker has accomplished her dream. "My life is accomplished", she say, "Now my only goal is to take care of the kids and make sure they go to good colleges and get married". I bit my tongue when she said that. She is still shy of 30. I remember she talked about becoming an air hostess. She imagined flying all around the world with layovers between flights during which she would visit new places. We had concluded with her height it should be easy as all air hostesses need to be tall, pretty and well- mannered. She only doubted on the pretty part. I was confident about that too.

She is also one of the best artist I know. In college she use to take art tuition (on my insistence). She enjoyed it and dreamed of running her own art academy one day.I envied her and still do- she has a passion and a talent and I still have not discovered what my true calling is. I was always the rebel factor in her life- pushing her to seek what she liked and be independent. She gets the credit for infusing practicality in me. I was an impulsive brat. I am a better person because of her.

She has not sacrificed her possible career, she just adapted to reality, she says. She chose to derive joy in taking care of her family and sticking to the traditional norms. I respect and admire her choices. I am very happy for her. I only hope that if she called me wishing I would rekindle the rebel in her and push her to do more for herself; I could be the support she is looking for. I am sure, we will start the arguments and questioning after a few more 'just calling to say hi' calls. I look forward to her prying questions and useless gossips.

Unconditional love needs nurturing too

The only kind of true love possible is 'unconditional'. Yet, it needs to be nurtured like an infant all the time. Over time we start demanding and taking things for granted; thinking that our love has grown and matured over the years and might not need as much attention.

After Arushi was born, a friend of mine had caught me referring to my romantic life as a matter of the past. I was lucky to have taken her cue and have worked to bring back the silly spark in my relationship with my husband. I call it silly as I do things like send him a ‘miss you’ sms; add a line on his to- do list ‘Call Jaina’ (he does call me when he reads it and we just exchange a giggling hi); go for drives after Arushi sleeps etc. Its all pretty teeny; but it works for me ( I say me and not us as according to Kal (my husband) the spark had never dimmed)

Recently, a close friend of mine confided to me that she was seeing a marriage counselor. I am a little shaken-up. This is a person whom I have seen to be head-over-heals in love with her husband. I think that the fact that they recognized (and acted on it) that their love needs extra nurturing- itself was proof of their love. I am sure they will come out of this situation with a stronger bond and understanding.

I am sure we will all have our share of troubles and tests ( some will have a tougher ride then others); but the key is preserve and nurture. Lets not forget that!

Journey to motherhood

Before I was pregnant I had not realized how much my life was going to change. Having a baby was something all the women in the world did. It will not be such a big deal. Its natural. A women's body would have optimized the process with so many decades of evolution. I would know what to do. Also, I will know how to take care of the baby. I trust my 'Natural instincts'. 

Pregnancy was a roller coaster rider. With the pre-term labor and the 'tributaline' and tri-weekly (yup, not weekly or bi-weekly) visits to the ob-gy. That was just a prelude to my transformation. This was followed by sleepless night and back-breaking feeding sessions. My husband has already forgotten it all. I still wake up in the middle of the night to feel my belly. I am suppose to forget it all post- pregnancy ( its been 18 months since I had Arushi). But I have not, I have a clear and vivid memory of the contractions which would not stop; the kicks and tickles that made me giggle all the time; the new-born cry that makes you feel so helpless.

It still feels 'magical'. How could I produced a whole new human being? I did and I am proud of it. Will I go through it again? friends ask me and I must think about it again urges the family. I do not know that yet. Maybe or maybe not. But, this journey to becoming a mother had transformed me and humbled me. It has taught me 'patience' and 'giving' like I never knew I was capable of and the gratitude I feel towards my mother is beyond expression ( she says she is tired of hearing about it now but I am still overwhelmed by the thought of all she has done for me).

This is a tribute to all the mothers in the world. Like 'they' say, with every baby a mother is born.